Lines in the sand.

Dear "the Other",

I'm not supposed to like you, I'm told. 

I'm told that you and I, we aren't supposed to interact. 

They say you're different, what you believe and the way you do things. 

They say you're naive, ignorant of the way things really work. 

They say you're a coward, too weak to do the right thing. 

They say you're arrogant, refusing to see the other side.

They say you're dangerous, and that the carelessness of your hands leads to evil. 

They tell me we shouldn't be friends. 

They tell me we can't be friends, that your kind and my kind - we don't get along.
They tell me we'll never see eye to eye.

They tell me people like you don't play well with people like me.

They tell me people like me can't trust people like you.

But from the first moment we met, you've seemed nice. 

In fact...

You're clever and talented, in your own unique way.

You're intelligent and creative, brimming with ideas.

You love and pursue beauty, even if you define 'beauty' differently than I do sometimes.

You're passionate, perhaps about different things, but just as mine, your passion makes you come alive.

You want to save the world, just as I do, even if we don't always agree on what that looks like.

You're human, just like me.

You were born one day, and you will die one day, just like me. 

You breathe oxygen, you need sleep, you eat food, just like me.

You feel pain, pleasure; you have feelings, dreams, goals, and fears, just like me.

The more I see that heart of yours, the more I see that you're just trying to live this life the best way you know how.

It would seem we're all on our path, and I see that your path has brought you to different places than mine has.

But the more I look around this ocean of existence, the more I see people who don't have all the answers, just like me, people who are all just trying to live this life the best way they know how, just like me.

To be honest, you don't seem all that bad.

In fact, I really like who you are.

Other people, from the different sides we come; they seem keen on yelling at each other.

They tell me that's what I should be doing, that I should be yelling at you.

They tell you that you should be yelling at me.

Our alleged sides demand we take up arms against each other.

But don't they see that all this yelling can be hurtful to people?

I look at them yelling, taking sides against the other, and before you know it, we're left with violent hearts and violent hands.

I think, by drawing lines in the sand, we're hurting each other. Or we're at least failing to value and respect each other, which ultimately causes damage as well. 

I don't see the point.

If all we do is yell at each other, how will we ever listen to one another?

I know, I know. They tell me it's dangerous to listen to the "other".

But listening doesn't have to mean we change our opinions, beliefs, perspectives, or stances, does it?

All listening means is that we're listening.
All listening means is that we're giving someone else room to exist.

Aristotle said "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Maybe by learning how to interact we could grow a little bit.

I'd like to listen, and see the world through your eyes, if only for a moment.

It doesn't have to change me.

They keep drawing lines in the sand, but can't they see their lines are only serving to box them in?

It seems to me we could be missing out on relationships, interactions that could really serve to nurture us, inspire us, challenge us, and make us better versions of ourselves.

After all, why must where I stand require someone to stand against? 

I don’t think it does.

In the eternal words of Dispatch’s 'The General', “I have seen the others, and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting.”

I once heard about a guy named Jesus.

He spent a lot of time with people that “they” told him he shouldn’t.

The standards ‘they’ set down didn’t seem to work for him.

Instead, he walked with people, he spent time with the ‘other’.

He went into their homes,

held their hands,

met their families,

came to their work,

had dinner with them,

cried with them,

laughed with them,

talked with them,

went to parties with them,

sailed with them,

endured pain and suffering with them,
listened to them, 

etc.

Instead of drawing lines in the sand, he walked with people.

I like this concept.

I look at you, and I like who you are.

I wonder if, given the opportunity, we could learn a thing or two from each other.

It’s impossible, they say.

But perhaps they’re wrong.

Maybe it’s not impossible. Maybe it’s just harder than easy, sometimes.

I’m sure it’s not always easy to walk with someone so potentially different.

Maybe some days it will take added patience and creativity, as we figure out what interaction looks like with the ‘other.’

It would definitely be easier to only interact with people that looked just like me, talked just like me, thought just like me, believed just like me, had a similar story to me.

But I’d rather not restrict myself to only looking in a mirror all day, for the rest of my life.

I’d rather grow, listen, see you, and value you as a person, despite our differences.

I don’t think it has to change me, what I think, what I believe, where I stand.

I think it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

They tell me I should hate you,

mock you,

shun you,

stay away from you…

But I’d rather call you ‘friend.’

I don’t want to draw lines in the sand.

I’d rather let these ocean waves sweep over the lines we’ve been told to draw.

I’d rather walk with you.

I like who you are.

I wouldn’t have seen that, and how much we could laugh together, cry together, grow together, learn together, or play together, had either of us decided the lines were more important than the person.

Perhaps instead of drawing lines, we could build sand castles, for “if he can build sand castles, he can build community.”

Just think of the friendship and blessing I’d be missing out on if I’d listened to them.

Instead, I’m off.

You and I have a sand castle to build.  

Love,  

Your Enemy Friend 

“Once you label me, you negate me.” –Kierkegaard

“I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet.”

“There’s nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility is being superior to your former self.” –Ernest Hemingway